I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
