I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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