wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Randomize
