how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
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