im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
