I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
