planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Did I show you my penis last night?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
