when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
