According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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