he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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