i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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