Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Randomize
