Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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