I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
worst night to have a conscience
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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