I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
