I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
