we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I just found a bag of teeth...
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
