I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
