8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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