it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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