I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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