Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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