gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
