if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
