I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize