at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
