There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
