what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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