Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
