I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
