he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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