But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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