Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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