half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
