Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
