i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
