Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
