So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Randomize
