i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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