Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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