Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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