did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
