i don't like sucking hair
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
