My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
