If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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