He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
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