fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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