watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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