The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
