I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
