All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
