Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize