One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
