Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
