He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
