He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
