Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
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