New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
