ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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