Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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