No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
