therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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