I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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